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Lots of times efurry day and lots of times efurry night I sit in the big patio window and looks out into the backyard. There is a big ginger kitty that lives somewhere around here who wanders around and comes up to my window and pops it wif his paw. So I pop back. There's also some birds who come around to the feeder (HEY MOM! Put some more bird seed in the feeder - I fink that if you do that, more birds will grow from it and we'll have lots of them again!). We don't gets squirrels, but there is a big woofie named Dutchess who lives behind us. She has a zappy collar so that she can't come ofurr to our door. I don't fink she's furry smart 'acause she's always zapping herself. Mommy also has veg-tables growing in big containers on the patio and around the side of the house (where I cannot see). I likes looking out but I nefurr want to be out there again. The garden on the side of the house is where Mommy finded me when I was a baby. But yesterday afternoon, 'afore Mommy gotted home, fings were FLYING around in the backyard. Plastic garbage can lids, plastic chairs, anofur flying saucer pool. There there was loud loud boomies and more wind. It was scary. When mommy gotted home, it had stopped, and I was under the bed. I don't likes when fings fly around the back yard.
I didn't know kitties could get headaches, but I has one. See, I was playing wif one of my feather mousies upstairs by the railing, and the mousie tried to 'scape from me by running away under the railing, so wifout finking too much about it, I chased it under the railing. I forgotted that if you go under the railing, there's no floor - just stairs and then the landing. I falled on my head about halfway down the stairs. (Mom's Note: he was about 4 feet up when he fell, onto the carpeted stairs). Mommy camed running and scooped me up and askded me if I was ok, and my purr machine turned on. But my eyes were spinning around in my head (couldn't she see that?). So we wented upstairs and we got in the bed and I snuggled close to her for a while. Then she started making that awful noise she made the ofer night when she was sleeping, so I gotted undner the covers, 'acause it made my ears hurt. She woked up a few times during the night, and one time I was playing wif Sammy on the floor, so she said I was ok. But I fink I still has a headache. Although Mommy says I'm fine 'acause I was chasing a fly that gotted into the house. I fink she should stay home and not go get her blood taken and then to go werk. But she says she has "meetings" wif people and that she has to go into the office. But what about ME? I has a headache!!
Can you believe it? Mommy SWATTED my behind this morning!!!!! She was not happy wif me for jumping all ofurr her last night and tossing stuff off the tables next to the bed. Did she bofur to ask me WHY I was doing this? Of course not. At one point, she locked me out of the bedroom, so I frew myself against the door for a long time and she letted me back in. I kepted doing it because THERE WAS NO CRUNCHY FOOD IN OUR BOWL. And I has to have a full bowl of crunchy food at night so that if I gets hungry, I has food to eat. But there was no food. So I hadded to try and get her up to go get some. But did she? NO. She wented to the bafroom a squillion times to make gross gaggy noises and complain that her tummy hurted, but she didnt' get me any crunchy food. Finally, after a squillion hours of trying to get her up, I knockded the lamp off the table and SHE SWATTED MY BEHIND. Ok, wel, she swatted AT my behind 'acause she was still laying in bed and I was on the floor and moving purrty fast out of the way of her hand, but still. That's just not right. I fink I need a new Mommy.
So, I frew the pillow off the couch so that I could lay in the patio window. Why shouldn't I haf a pillow to sleep on? You have 89 pillows on the bed when you sleep! You gots a problem wif that?
So, I plopped down on your mouf and nose at 3am this morning to sleep. It was freaking cold in the bedroom and your breaf was hot - you gots a problem wif that?
Today was Mommy's purrfday. We didn't have any money to buy her somefing (and we couldn't get her purse open to get her credit card) so we just continued purring on her. She is feeling a little better, but the vampire (oops, bean v-e-t) wants to take her blood efurry day for a few weeks - that alot of blood and a lot of sleeps! Oh, and I gotted HAM for being such a good boy!
Happy Purrfday Mommy! Fank you for making me try eating deli roast beast. It was really good and I fink I would like a little more sometime. I'm sorry I didn't haf any money to buy you somefing for your purrfday, so I'll let you snuggle me in snuggling position tonight.
Happy Purrfday Mommy. Boy, you're getting old.
Well, Mommy wented to the bean v-e-t again this morning and her blood levels were a little higher, so the bean v-e-t decided to wait a few days and test again to see if she needs the trans-fu-shion. She still needs to rest, but she is feeling better. (Meezers Mom's Note: Thank you all for the kind wishes and all the purrayers. I really appreciate it. The dr said if my levels keep going up I should be back to my normal self in about 2 months).
Well, since the bean v-e-t said she is getting better, then i fink we should get speshul treats for helping her. Right?
I likes hafing to help Mommy rest. See, I'm sleeping on a folder from her werk so that she is not doing anyfing stressful.
I finded anofer food I don't like - salsa. oh and also q-come-burrs. why do people haf to eat so many veg-tables. what's wrong wif meat? or fish? or shrimps? or even French Toast?
Mommy goes back to the dr tomorrow to see if she needs the trans-fu-shun. She says it's no big deal and it will make her feel better, but how can sticking needles in someone make them feel better? I don't know.
Mommy wented to the bean v-e-t today. Her bean v-e-t was furry concerned and put mommy on bed rest till the weekend. The bean v-e-t said her blood levels were bad and if they didn't get better by friday, she might need a trans-fu-shun. that sounds way scary! We are trying to keep her still and in bed, and remindin her when it's time to take her pills.
I don't care how sick she is, she LOCKED ME IN THE DUNGEON. for 30 WHOLE MINUTES. there is no excuse for that.
Mommy is still sicky - she makes the most horribible noises at night, and gurgles when she tries to talk. But, sometimes she is stoopid, and today was one of those days. She wented to werk. Now she's home and she feels really really sicky and is having prollems breafing. Sammy keeps climbing on her an purring and kissing her face. Trixie is just staring at her and freaking her out, 'acause mommy says she never sees Trixie blink. Hmmmm, neifer have I. Strange. I'm sorry Mommy's sicky, but, is there someone out there that can open a box of crunchies for us? our bowl is emp-t and mommy says she will get up soon and fill it, but i hasn't seen her make a move to do it yet. I'M STARVING!!!!!
he's just being overly dra-ma-tik - there's enuf crunchies in our bowl till morning. I'm going back to purring.
Lots of stuff has been happening the past few days. Ferst, there was the 'lympics, which were lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots, oh, sorry, of fun. Then Zeus visited us! Mommy gotted us a Hummerr Limo and we wented lots of fun places - and we wented rock climbing! Trixie wented wif us and she was thrilled!
Mommy is sicky again - he throat is all sore and swollen, and her eye is all goopy and red, and she has a hard time breathing. So, Sammy has been laying on her chest and purring to help her breathe. I don't fink that she finks it helps that much. While she has been sicky in bed we have been doing lots to help her - like getting her water when she's firsty (ok, so we missed her mouf and gotted it all over her arms, but we tried).
Miss Ellen wented home yesterday. Sammy tried really hard to let her near him, and one night he letted he pet his neck, but then he runned away. After she lefted, he still hid in the bedroom until night time. Trixie of course loves Miss Ellen, 'acuase they've known each ofer for a long time. I liked her too - she gived me bacon efurry morning!
I hadded so much fun at the 'lympics! I winned 2 silver medals - one in tub soccer and i tied in yowling. My voice is still scratchy from that one! The whole weekend was so much fun! I fink I will sleep for days now!
I hadded fun too! I winned a gold in litter throw and tied for a bronze in floor routine. I hadded fun rooting for efurryone and watching the events. I can't wait to do this next year!
I'm so 'ACITED!!! It's almost time for the 'lympics!! I can't wait! The Torch lighting is tonight, and then tomorrow are the events - I'm in yowling and tub soccer, and Sammy is in Sumo Wrestling, Floor Exercise and Tub Soccer. We has been prakticing LOTS. I fink I haf a good chance to get a medal in yowling. Sammy has to westle a GIRL, so I don't know if he will get a medal. Mommy has told him 'afore no fighting wif girls, but she really meant Trixie. Trixie will be at the 'lympics watching us and then she will be at the nap-a-thon. I am so 'acited that I don't know if I can even nap today! See you all there!
I love whipped cream. If you have a dessert wif whipped cream on it, I will be on your lap trying to eat it. I will slap the spoon out of your hand to eat it. If you don't like that, then you haf 2 choices - don't eat dessert wif whipped cream, or give me my own bowl of whipped cream. I don't fink it will make me fat if I eat a whole bowl of it.
Fank you efurryone for your suggestions on how to deal wif the visitor. Yesterday I tried coming downstairs to look out my favrit window when she was here. My heart was thumping hard and I was slinking down low to the floor, but I made it past her and to the window. She didn't try and pet me or anyfing, she just said "Hi Sammy Sweetheart". I turned and looked at her and thought about letting he touch me, but then i just turned and continued looking out the window. Then, 'afore i knowed it, Mommy was home and Miss Ellen wented to a furriends house for dinner, so we hadded Mommy to ourselves for a while. But Miss Ellen came back when it was dark and after a while I tolded Mommy it was bed time, so we wented to bed. I will try again today to be a nice kitty. I don't want her to fink I'm rude or anyfing like that.
HOORAY! Edselsmom made it through her surgery well! Check out his blog!
Also, it is our good Meezer furriend Chatham's 19th purrthday today. He's having a party at his place - please stop ofur and give him purrthday wishes!
We have been having a visitor from Virginia here since Saturday. Her name is Ellen and she is Mommy's bestest furriend. Norton used to love her furry much and would let her hold him when he would not even let Mommy hold him. Trixie loves her furry much too. Miles has been acting like his little attention hogging self around her when Mommy is at werk. Me, however, I don't like new people in my house. I have been hiding under the bed and only coming out to eat if she is out of the house or if I can figure out a way to get to the food dish wifout having to see her. She seems to be furry nice and wants to pet me, but I don't know why I won't let her. I get all shaky and nervous and have to hide under somefing.
Are any of you ofer kitties like that? Any suggetions on how I can not be so nervous around her? She's staying until next Sunday! I would like to walk around the house wifout being scairt.
We are all purraying hard for Edselsmom today - sending her good and healing thoughts and sending Edsel many purrs and headbutts. We will be saying speshul purrayers at 8am our time along wif The Calico Girls
It am also my Sweet Abby's gotcha day today.
Happy 2nd Purrfday to my sweet Sammy. You are so sweet and funny and gentle and loving. I'm so glad you picked my garden to hide in when you were a wee little baby, and I'm so glad that none of the neighbors claimed you as their own. You are my little cuddly boy!
Ok, so it was only 3:30am - but I put the beat down on Miles. Sorry we woked you up. I has to train for the 'lympics! And the bed is the bestest place to praktice. Sorry I skratched your head when I ran over it to tackle Miles.
Mommy finally hearded from her exam last week - and she PASSED! She hadded to get an en-door-cement and go through an audit. I don't know what a cememt door has to do wif the cer-ti-fi-k-shun, but I guess it was 'portant. She gotted an email today that her cer-ti-fi-kate is being printed and sented out in the mail, so she is offishully a CISSP. Con-cat-u-lations Mommy!
Con-cat-u-lations Mommy - you finally gotted your brain to werk. HAHAHA. Just kidding. I am proud of you.
Does this mean you will be making more money to buy me, uh, I mean US, more ham?
NOTE: Mommy says CISSP means Certified Information Systems Security Professional.
Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. Just 'acause Sammy and I look alike, doesn't mean that we like the same fings.
Just 'acause HE likes to lay on his back on your lap while you are on the human litter box, and listen to you babble on about how beautiful his blue eyes are, and he purrs and acts like a goof, doesn't mean that I like that. Well, I do like hearing that I has purrty blue eyes too.
Yeah, just 'acause HE likes to climb up on your shoulder and the flip and flop all over you while you are on the couch, doesn't mean that I like to do that. I like laying calmly against your leg.
Just 'acause HE like to chase feather toys and eat the feathers out of your pillows, doesn't mean that I like feather toys. I like bottle caps. Please don't frow them all out.
Just 'acause he is a food obsessed lunatic, doesn't mean that I am too. I don't like people food, and I don't like a lot of stinky goodness, I like the crunchy food and some cruncy treats. Please 'amember to check the crunchy bowl in the mornings so that I don't has to eat stinky goodness that I don't like and then frow up on the carpet. Save the people food for him - it's funny when he eats somefing that he finks he will like and then doesn't like it - like vegetables.
Ofer fings I like:
- laying under the top cover on the bed and biting your toes
- hanging over the balcony upstairs and looking down into the living room. Just 'acause I fell on my head once or twice doesn't mean I don't like to still do it.
- getting my full belly rubbed so that I can, um, well, poot. It makes me feel better.
- licking your earlobe. I dont' care that you don't like it. It's fun
- my nose up your nostrils. Again, it's fun
Ofer fings I like that Miles doesn't:
- laying on your head
- trying to answer the phone when it rings - if you didn't have a flip phone, I could do it.
- playing wif your clock on the bedside table. I fink I figured out how to reset the time. HAHA
- stealing tampons from the drawer
- pushing fings into the human littlerbox
- pushing Miles down the stairs ( I fink he likes this too, sometimes)
- getting that spot where my tail meets my butt scratched - OOOOOHHHHHH YEAHHHHH
- hamstring rubs
Now that you have this list, please try and 'amember so that we don't has to get mad at you anymore.
Italian hoagies (or subs or grinders or whatever you call them in your area) are NOT good eating for kitties. There's "hot pepper ham" (or "capicola or as mommy says they say in South Philly "gabbagoul") in them.
And Mommy: That was a mean joke to let me take a piece of ham out of the hoagie. BAD MOMMY.
But I still love you lots.
Oh yea, and Mommy goofed up again. She needs to start writing fings down. She thoughted Sammy's purrfday was today, but she looked at the V-E-T record, and it's listed as June 10 - so his purrfday is in 4 days, NOT today. Poor Sammy. He has to wait 4 more days to turn 2.
Trixie is weird. Last night, she went missing. Well, she was in the house, but no one could find her. Mommy was calling and calling and calling for her and she never comed out from where she was hiding, and none of us could find her hiding spot. Then, after Mommy wented to sleep, Trixie jumped up on the bed and started at her. Mommy woke up and there was Trixie. So Mommy was happy. Then, when the beepy thing wented off this morning, and I turned it off, we could not find Trixie again. Mommy hadded on the TV and was watching a story 'bout Some Really Big Fishies and Trixie jumped up on the bed and started staring at the TV. Mommy was laughing really hard 'acause the fishies names were Trixie and Alice, and they were going to a 'quar-ee-um to see some ofer fishies named Ralph and Norton. Trixie hearded her name on TV and came running to see who was calling her, and then she hearded them talking 'bout Ralph and Norton, and she was trying to see if HER Ralph and Norton were on the TV. Mommy could not believe it - she comes when the lady on TV says her name, but NOT when Mommy is calling her all night long.
I stealed some bacon from mommy's breakfast plate. OH WOW OH WOW OH WOW - it was maple flavored bacon!! Why can't they make maple flavored bacon stinky goodness?
Why do I:
Chew on Mommy's clothes when she's trying to get dressed?
Haf to get onto the windowsill in the people's litterbox room by jumping on the people's litterbox?
Turn my nose up at the stinky goodness you give us for breakfast efurry morning, then eat it all when you're not looking?
bat the tv control thingies off your nightstand efurry night?
lay on your head while you are sleeping?
wrestle wif Miles on your legs while you are sleeping?
howl when I can't see out the bedroom window?
hide my toys all ofur the house then howl so that you get up and look for them?
look out the front door window but run whenefurr someone comes near the door?
scratch the couch all the time?
scratch the blankets on the bed all the time?
dig you out from under the covers in the middle of the night so that the cold air blowy thing blows cold air on your head? (come on, you turn it on and then you hide under the covers, that makes NO sense)
Why do I do all these things? Because it is the glory of being ME and it's what cats do. Don't question it, you will hurt your little head.
I has passed the torch to Dino, Egypt and Tuxie and they will be running wif it to Mew Jersey to bring it to Timmy.
I want to fank Dino, Egypt, Tuxie, Maxie and Midnight and Kitty Dad (and all the ofer beans) for taking such good care of me. I was really tired when I gotted there, and they hadded some stinky goodness and a basket all set for me so that I could rest. Then, I gotted to meet a Fencing Secretary named Mr Rumsfeld. I was so furry 'acited, but I was tired too. He maded a speech at some school for people who enforce the air, or somefing like that. (oh wait, Mommy says it was the Secretary of Defense and the Air Force Academy, sorry).
There was alot to see on the way to Colorado, and a couple of times I gotted dis-trak-ted by some birds and almost went off course. Mittens, I hadded Mommy put a sticker on my left paw and I sang the Hokey Pokey song when I hadded to make a turn so that I knowed which way to go. I has to say that there is LOTS of climbing to do in Colorado!
I am happy to be home 'acause I missed my Mommy lots, and Kitty Dad let me bring some mousie ice wif catnip flakes and birdie sprinkles home wif me to share wif Trixie and Sammy. Maybe I will, it's really good.
Good luck Dino, Egypt and Tuxie !! You will do really well. YAY!!!!!